Truth, or humor?
22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belong in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States .
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."
Now, looking over this list, I see some things that are way obviously stupid and downright dishonest, but funny! Other things, however, are quite true. For example, the first one, about believing that Capital Punishment is wrong, but Abortion on demand is great! You know what I really think is amazing about abortion? The guy has no say in the decision. Absolutely none. "Because the woman carries it for 9 months" is usually the answer I get when I talk about this. But wait a minute, don't women usually blame the guy for GETTING THEM PREGNANT? Gee, if that's the case, then it seems the guy should have some part in the decision to abort the child right? No? Still no? Then don't blame the guy for getting you pregnant, it's all YOUR fault then. Don't like that? Then I guess you have to admit, the guy had a role then, huh?
Ok, another one. Saying it's ok to have a Gay Pride Parade, but not allowing a Manger scene. Hmmm. Well, I believe that people have the right to live the way they want. However, not in front of me they don't. Let me make this clear. I don't care what you do with your life, provided I don't have to see it, and you don't flaunt it in front of me! Go ahead, be gay, see if I care. I just don't want to see it in front of me. I have never participated in Straight Pride Parades. So, I'm thinking no one needs to be doing the Gay Pride Parade thing. Now, about the whole manager scene thing. Most Liberals I know argue this all the time. And, I get quite tired of it. What it actually says in the U.S. Constitution is that Congress shall make (or enact) any law establishing religion or prevent the free exercise of. Ok, why did they write that? Anyone? Anyone? Buehler? Buehler? This would be English History, so, given that Liberals seem to regard that as racist history, I probably shouldn't expect Liberals, or anyone else for that matter, to know this. I'm sure they've banned it from being taught in school. The church of England. It prevents the U.S. from making a "Church of the U.S.". That's what's behind it. So, by having a Manger scene, that doesn't mean that a Church of the U.S. is gonna pop up tomorrow. It does not mean that Christianity is getting any more preferential treatment than say, Islam when Muslim students are allowed to have "foot washing" facilities to accomodate their faith at state colleges. Which, incidentally, the ACLU doesn't have a problem with. Big shock!
Hmmm, they're all worthy of having a comment, but, how about Socialism? Libs think Socialism and Universal Health Care will be great! Ok, well, let's look at Canada. All the Libs love Canada, right? Well, their tax rate is 50%. That's just the Federal Income Tax people! But, that's what it takes to pay for Universal Health Care. Course, if you need surgery, you go to the U.S. for one of two reasons. First, your Canadian doctor is a moron and shouldn't be allowed to operate on anyone. Second, you'll die of your disease before you get your surgery. So, they come to the U.S. for surgery. So much for our sub-standard health care system huh? If ya Canadian's think our health care sucks so much, get the crap back over the border and stop coming here for surgery! Next, if Socialism in America would be so great, why then, is our Medicare Part D such a disaster? Technically, that's Socialism. So is Social Security, how's that working out? Don't even get me started on AmTrack. That's Socialism too. Don't AmTrack just work great!
Ok, last one, I swear, but, they all deserve a comment. Standardized tests are racist, while quotas are not. Ok. There was a really famous guy in U.S. History. Led the Civil Rights Movement until he was killed. Martin Luther King, remember? Remember his "I have a dream" speech? He said that he believed in a "color blind" society. Anyone know what that means? It means, a society NOT BASED ON COLOR! Now, what is Affirmative Action in this day and age? BASED ON COLOR! Believe that it's fair for quotas and Affirmative Action? Ok, no problem. Let's hold a certain number of jobs for Whites to guarantee they can get some employment, whether or not they're qualified, let's just say a certain number of jobs are for Whites. What's that? You hate that idea? It's racist? Really? Funny, that's what quotas do for minorities. It holds a certain number of jobs (or college positions as well) for people with a certain color of skin. But that's not racist you say? Really? Geez, a second ago, Libs were just saying how jobs for Whites only was bad. Hmm, funny how you change the skin color and suddenly, everything is ok in their mind. If they're so Pro-Minority, why then, is no one playing the race card upon Hillary while she bashes Barak Obama for some of his political views? Cause you know, if it were a Republican doing it, the race card would be played, you can bet on that. Prove it you say? Hmm. Ok. Senator Robert Bryd. Used to be heavily involved with the KKK. Key word is used to be, but, nonetheless, that's part of his history. Any negativity from the Liberal Press? Nope. Trent Lott says something stupid regarding if Strom Thurman had been elected President when he rant during Segregation times, "we wouldn't have the problems we do now". That was dumb to say, absolutely. But, the Liberals jumped all over him. They demanded he apologized. Any apologies from Senator Byrd? Not one. Double standard.
Ok, I'm done, honestly. But, if you Libs don't like some of these things, change your representation then. Truth hurts.
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belong in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States .
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."
Now, looking over this list, I see some things that are way obviously stupid and downright dishonest, but funny! Other things, however, are quite true. For example, the first one, about believing that Capital Punishment is wrong, but Abortion on demand is great! You know what I really think is amazing about abortion? The guy has no say in the decision. Absolutely none. "Because the woman carries it for 9 months" is usually the answer I get when I talk about this. But wait a minute, don't women usually blame the guy for GETTING THEM PREGNANT? Gee, if that's the case, then it seems the guy should have some part in the decision to abort the child right? No? Still no? Then don't blame the guy for getting you pregnant, it's all YOUR fault then. Don't like that? Then I guess you have to admit, the guy had a role then, huh?
Ok, another one. Saying it's ok to have a Gay Pride Parade, but not allowing a Manger scene. Hmmm. Well, I believe that people have the right to live the way they want. However, not in front of me they don't. Let me make this clear. I don't care what you do with your life, provided I don't have to see it, and you don't flaunt it in front of me! Go ahead, be gay, see if I care. I just don't want to see it in front of me. I have never participated in Straight Pride Parades. So, I'm thinking no one needs to be doing the Gay Pride Parade thing. Now, about the whole manager scene thing. Most Liberals I know argue this all the time. And, I get quite tired of it. What it actually says in the U.S. Constitution is that Congress shall make (or enact) any law establishing religion or prevent the free exercise of. Ok, why did they write that? Anyone? Anyone? Buehler? Buehler? This would be English History, so, given that Liberals seem to regard that as racist history, I probably shouldn't expect Liberals, or anyone else for that matter, to know this. I'm sure they've banned it from being taught in school. The church of England. It prevents the U.S. from making a "Church of the U.S.". That's what's behind it. So, by having a Manger scene, that doesn't mean that a Church of the U.S. is gonna pop up tomorrow. It does not mean that Christianity is getting any more preferential treatment than say, Islam when Muslim students are allowed to have "foot washing" facilities to accomodate their faith at state colleges. Which, incidentally, the ACLU doesn't have a problem with. Big shock!
Hmmm, they're all worthy of having a comment, but, how about Socialism? Libs think Socialism and Universal Health Care will be great! Ok, well, let's look at Canada. All the Libs love Canada, right? Well, their tax rate is 50%. That's just the Federal Income Tax people! But, that's what it takes to pay for Universal Health Care. Course, if you need surgery, you go to the U.S. for one of two reasons. First, your Canadian doctor is a moron and shouldn't be allowed to operate on anyone. Second, you'll die of your disease before you get your surgery. So, they come to the U.S. for surgery. So much for our sub-standard health care system huh? If ya Canadian's think our health care sucks so much, get the crap back over the border and stop coming here for surgery! Next, if Socialism in America would be so great, why then, is our Medicare Part D such a disaster? Technically, that's Socialism. So is Social Security, how's that working out? Don't even get me started on AmTrack. That's Socialism too. Don't AmTrack just work great!
Ok, last one, I swear, but, they all deserve a comment. Standardized tests are racist, while quotas are not. Ok. There was a really famous guy in U.S. History. Led the Civil Rights Movement until he was killed. Martin Luther King, remember? Remember his "I have a dream" speech? He said that he believed in a "color blind" society. Anyone know what that means? It means, a society NOT BASED ON COLOR! Now, what is Affirmative Action in this day and age? BASED ON COLOR! Believe that it's fair for quotas and Affirmative Action? Ok, no problem. Let's hold a certain number of jobs for Whites to guarantee they can get some employment, whether or not they're qualified, let's just say a certain number of jobs are for Whites. What's that? You hate that idea? It's racist? Really? Funny, that's what quotas do for minorities. It holds a certain number of jobs (or college positions as well) for people with a certain color of skin. But that's not racist you say? Really? Geez, a second ago, Libs were just saying how jobs for Whites only was bad. Hmm, funny how you change the skin color and suddenly, everything is ok in their mind. If they're so Pro-Minority, why then, is no one playing the race card upon Hillary while she bashes Barak Obama for some of his political views? Cause you know, if it were a Republican doing it, the race card would be played, you can bet on that. Prove it you say? Hmm. Ok. Senator Robert Bryd. Used to be heavily involved with the KKK. Key word is used to be, but, nonetheless, that's part of his history. Any negativity from the Liberal Press? Nope. Trent Lott says something stupid regarding if Strom Thurman had been elected President when he rant during Segregation times, "we wouldn't have the problems we do now". That was dumb to say, absolutely. But, the Liberals jumped all over him. They demanded he apologized. Any apologies from Senator Byrd? Not one. Double standard.
Ok, I'm done, honestly. But, if you Libs don't like some of these things, change your representation then. Truth hurts.
posted by nonfreak at 8:20 PM
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